And Carrie On

Asking to be considered for a job or a promotion is one of the hardest things to do as a professional. It’s putting yourself out there in a way that is hard to step back from. I liken it to sharing with a friend you think there’s an opportunity for a relationship (married that friend). There’s no turning back from that moment. However, there’s also the fear of not taking that step and always regretting the decision.

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You are your own best advocate.

Saying that again — you are your own best advocate. As I’ve gotten more senior in my career, I’ve used that advice to help me muster the courage to advocate for myself. It still isn’t comfortable, but I think it’s an important skill to have as a leader.

If you find yourself needing to advocate for yourself on something, here are a few strategies that I find helpful (both as the leader and as someone who is advocating).

Seven Strategies to Advocate for Yourself

Here are the seven strategies I use when advocating for myself.

Ask for time

First and foremost, it is important ask for specific time for the conversation. These are never good conversations to pop into an office or have during a regular one-on-one meetings. Both of you are likely focused on different things, so this is much better to schedule time where you can focus on the discussion and be fully present.

When asking for the time, give your leader context about the conversation. Don’t just ask to visit. Instead, mention you’d like to talk about growth opportunities or learning about the new role. As a leader, I want to support my team and not knowing what a meeting is about makes it difficult for me to do that.

Handle your business

Before the meeting, make sure you are taking care of your regular business. If you’re completing tasks well, it’s a sign you are ready for more opportunity. Take time to self-reflect to understand where you need to improve before the conversation.

As a leader, it’s difficult to invest in someone if there are issues. Specifically, I’m really interested in:

• Are tasks completed on time?
• Is follow up needed to make sure something gets done?
• Is the work clean and free of mistakes?

If these issues aren’t handled (or at least showing significant improvement), it is hard for me as a leader to consider that individual for an opportunity. Long-term, new opportunities should make the leader’s life easier. If these issues exist, that isn’t the case.

Do the work

I’m often someone who takes on additional responsibilities because they need to be done. My mom calls it “being on the flower committee.” If there are things you see that need to be done, take the initiative and do them. That kind of approach shows you’re willing to jump in.

Depending on the conversation, it may be helpful to develop ideas about future projects. This also shows a willingness to help the organization. The one caveat to this approach, is these things should not come at the cost of the work that is your charge. These are only extras as bandwidth permits.

Be direct

Be direct about what you want. The leader has so much on their plate and is constantly pulled in multiple directions. Being direct about what you want makes their life easier. Sometimes I leave meetings and I have no idea what the person wanted. Don’t let that be the case in this situation. Be clear that you want to be considered for a promotion (or whatever it is).

I struggle with this one honestly when advocating for myself. I think it comes from the fear of hearing no. However, we rob ourselves of being considered if we dance around the topic or aren’t explicit. I’m personally reframing this: as a leader I have to be direct, so it’s important to be direct in conversations, allowing my leaders see I am capable of it.

Follow up

Often these conversations need to happen more than once. If you start down the path of advocating, make it a point to follow up. It’s about balance, but you need to check in. Perhaps it’s in your regular one-on-ones or maybe it’s reaching out a few weeks after the conversation. The onus to keep it moving is on you. After all, you are your own best advocate. I find that about once a month or every six weeks is a good time to check in initially. Then, once movement happens, it may be more frequent.

As a junior employee, I didn’t understand the value of checking in. I thought I had a conversation and nothing happened. In reflecting, that’s partially on me. I needed to do more to keep the conversation flowing. That said, I also think it’s important to have situational awareness to recognize that sometimes things may not come to fruition. That is part of life, and it will happen. Depending on the situation, it may be best to formally close the loop, have follow-up for clarity, or decide that the absence of progress is your answer and redirect your energy elsewhere.

Practice

I can’t say this enough, but it is important to practice the conversation. You want to make sure you clearly and confidently get your message across. I think too often, the opening of the conversation and the overall talking points are familiar, but it can come off as a lecture and not a back-and-forth dialogue.

One of my favorite uses for ChatGPT is to use it to practice these tough conversations. It can help me hone my talking points, look for blind spots, and even build a flowchart with different responses to my points. The flow chart is beneficial and helps me anticipate possible reactions and work through all the different ways the conversation might go.

Show grace

Chances are, these conversations are also tough for your leader. They don’t get the benefit of preparing for the conversation and are working in a reactive mode based on what you are saying. Additionally, they often have competing demands on their time or competing interests in the opportunity. I think having the emotional intelligence to recognize their challenges around the conversation is often overlooked.

To remedy this, I think it’s important to be kind and professional and thank the leader for taking the time. They will remember the class you showed during a tough conversation, even if the outcome didn’t go your way. That approach will do more to support you than you will ever know.

Get Started

If you’ve been on the fence about needing to advocate for yourself, consider this a sign to get started.

Also, are there strategies that help you? If so, add a comment and let’s keep the conversation going.